


Paranoia

by msinpinitu (Knaija)



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Crack, Dongwoo got fooled too, Howon thinks he can outsmart everyone, Howon thought everyone had sex with him, Idol-Verse, Infinite are all assholes, OT7, Paranoia, birthday pranks, everyone has sex with Howon (but not really), evil mastermind duo, implied!sex because author’s too lazy to write the actual sex, poor Howon, sex survey, suggested drinking game: take a shot every time Howon is suspicious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-10-12 13:22:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10491804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knaija/pseuds/msinpinitu
Summary: It’s Howon’s birthday… and he’s ready for any prank that Infinite thinks they can pull on him





	

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday, Hoya (Sorry, it's late)

Howon looked down at his watch. It was half past nine in the morning, but even that wasn’t the earliest time for anything. It just meant he’d been twenty-seven years old for nine hours and thirty minutes. Not that there was anything special about that. Not that there was any reason to worry.

Except, he totally had every reason to worry.

The members and staff had proved over the years that they had varied moods on what to do on any person’s birthday. And by members, he meant Woohyun and Sungyeol. If those two weren’t up to anything, chances were that the rest would just lob along, treating the day like any other. But if the silly duo decided to be mischievous, they always seemed to pick up their speed on Myungsoo’s birthday. Right after Woohyun’s had passed.

So Howon had learned to watch for Myungsoo’s birthday. See what would happen and then hold his breath till his own birthday showed up. After watching in quiet laughter as Woohyun dumped Myungsoo’s head in cake even after he’d already been caked, Howon knew he could handle whatever they decided to throw at him. At least now, he could see it coming.

He’d woken up at eleven, the night before and waited, watching TV and snacking on veggies till his alarm for work had gone off around six and he’d gone to prepare for the day. He’d gotten to the studio at eight and found that he was the first one there so Howon waited, choosing to sit in the dark. Just in case the pranksters showed up and thought they were the first to reach the scene of doom.

When the door to the studio opened and Woohyun entered, dragging his feet, he didn’t even turn on the light. Instead, he’d walked over to the couch and fallen back on Howon as Howon put his hands out to stop him, causing Woohyun to scream out in fear.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING SITTING HERE IN THE DARK?” Woohyun shouted, switching on the lights.

“Why didn’t you turn on the light when you got in?” Howon asked him back, suspicious.

“Because I wanted to get some shuteye before your drill-sergeant leader showed up.” Woohyun said, frowning at him. “What are you even doing here? Are you supposed to record today? Wait. Is today not your birthday?”

“Haha. Real funny. Like you forgot.” Howon said.

“I didn’t forget. But apparently, you did.” Woohyun said.

“What does that mean?”

“You don’t have a schedule today, idiot.” Woohyun said, pushing Howon away from the chair as he walked back to the wall, turned the lights off and then returned to lie on the sofa. “Go home, Howon. If you have a free day, you should use it.”

*********

Howon went home, shaking his head at Woohyun’s rookie move. Did they really think they could fool him? If they were pretending like they had nothing planned, then they had something real big planned. He hadn’t had a schedule but he’d assumed they were just messing with him by keeping it clear. After waiting till Sunggyu showed up, Howon had finally been convinced that maybe, his prank didn’t lie in the studio.

Which meant, it had to be somewhere else.

*********

Nothing was waiting for him in his house. No one showed up with a birthday cake and by the time it was six in the evening, Howon was beginning to feel the hairs on his neck stand every time a new voice came on TV. So he cracked.

“What?” Sungyeol answered after the first ring.

“Where’s my birthday present?”

Sungyeol waited.

“Is no one there with you?” Sungyeol asked.

“No one has been with me all day.”

“Shit.” Sungyeol cussed. “Do you want me to come over? Because I thought Dongwoo would do it. Maybe he forgot. He said he had something really romantic for you two planned out for today.”

Howon frowned, feeling forgotten and neglected.

“He didn’t come.”

“I can come.” Sungyeol said. “I can bring cake and flowers. I can run you a bath and you can do anything you want to me.”

“Don’t worry.” Howon said. “I have things to do on my own anyway.”

He cut the call, knowing that he had nothing to do. If the members had gotten together and Dongwoo was the one supposed to take care of him on his birthday, how was he supposed to feel that Dongwoo had forgotten about it? And no one had thought to even remind Dongwoo. Not even leader.

Unless…

Howon laughed, looking up at his ceiling. Foolish boys. Did they think they could fool him? Everyone was acting like there was no prank. Maybe this was it. Maybe this was their prank. The prank. They were all going to pretend like they forgot. It was a perfect prank. Pranking him into frustration.

But he’d found out. So there! They’d failed.

Laughing again, he got up and went to fix himself a drink. Did they really think spending the day alone would be punishment for him? Howon could wait this shit out. No doubt, now that he’d called Sungyeol, they’d all be sitting around cackling about how he was about to call leader next and complain… or call Sungjong over for some pity sex… or call Myungsoo. But he wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction.

*********

Unfortunately, thirty minutes later, Dongwoo showed up, looking rushed and laden with a bag of party toys and some adult party toys.

“I’m so sorry.” Dongwoo said, kissing him. “I had some errands to run and then I ended up at the restaurant. And then Sungyeol called. Do you want to spank me? I brought a paddle.” He waved the pouched paddle dangling from his shoulder at Howon as Howon stood, transfixed and confused.

“Was today really your responsibility?” He asked as Dongwoo nodded, entering into the house and dropping everything in the sitting room. “You’re not lying to me, hyung?”

“Why would I lie?” Dongwoo asked, looking confused. “Gimme ten minutes and I’ll transform your bedroom into a Den of Iniquity. I promise.”

And then he disappeared into the room, leaving Howon to stare at nothing in utter confusion.

*********

Howon groaned as he came, shuddering all over as Dongwoo mewled beneath him, cumming as well as his legs clamped around Howon’s hips.

“I love you.” Dongwoo breathed, pulling him down for a kiss as Howon went without much persuasion. He moved over, slipping out from his hyung as Dongwoo moaned again. “Hoya, was it good? Did you like it?”

“I always like it with you.” Howon said.

“Yes. But was this time good?” he asked again, causing Howon to think back on the last half hour of foreplay and eventual sex.

“It was fantastic.” It was a little more than fantastic because Dongwoo had done so many things he’d never done before. He’d kissed more, he’d yelled more, he’d been more conscious of Howon. If Howon was going to guess, he’d say Dongwoo had done everything that made sex awesome with each of the members.

“I did my homework.” Dongwoo said.

“What?”

“Yeah.” He continued. “The moment I knew it was going to be me, I ran a survey on your sex life with the members.”

“You did what?” He felt like covering himself. He could just imagine all of them, sitting around and discussing what sex with him was like. Was that the prank? Humiliating him.

“Stop it!” Dongwoo said, smacking him on the chest. “They were all very helpful. They wanted to make it nice for you. So they chipped in. They were very… graphic, but I like graphic. It helped me.”

And now Howon felt even worse. He’d spent the entire day suspecting them of pranks when Infinite had spent the past few days, coaching Dongwoo on how to make his birthday beautiful.

*********

He waited till everyone was in the practice room, but as each member entered, he handed them a bottle of energy juice and a clean towel (even if most of the members already had theirs).

“You’re freaking me out.” Sungyeol said, looking at him suspiciously.

When the last person entered, Howon stood before them all, hands clasped as he forced himself to look around at his members without feeling cornered or silly that he was about to get really emotional.

“You people can’t blame me for thinking the worst of you because you’ve actually been pretty awful in the past.” He began.

“I have no idea where this is going.” Woohyun said.

“That came out wrong.” Howon cleared his throat. “Okay, so I’m sorry that… I wanted to thank you all for preparing a nice birthday for me. Even though I was cynical and expected a prank at every turn. Dongwoo-hyung, I’m especially sorry that even while you were in the house, I still expected you to do something to me.”

“Do you not know Dongwoo-hyung?” Sungjong asked, hitting Dongwoo from behind with his shoulder as Dongwoo smiled at Howon.

“What I’m saying is, thank you for yesterday. It was a good birthday. And I really had fun.”

God forbid he mention the communal not-sex he’d had with all of them through Dongwoo. But that was really what it was about. The thoughtfulness and the fact that his members knew him so well. Rushing forward, he hugged Myungsoo, because he was the nearest. And then went around, hugging them all, while averting his gaze until he ended at Dongwoo who squeezed his ass and gave him a peck.

Once he was done, he knew his ears were burning, so he turned away and rushed from the room.

*********

The moment the door closed, Sungyeol burst into laughter.

“Are we ever going to tell him?” Myungsoo asked.

“Tell him what?” Dongwoo asked.

“Don’t tell him.” Woohyun said, stretching out on the ground. “I want Howon to pet me for a few months. And the guilt is always nice.”

“Guilt about what?” Dongwoo asked again.

“The prank, hyung.” Myungsoo explained.

“What prank? There was no prank.”

“Why do you think I sent you home yesterday morning?” Sunggyu asked, joining Woohyun on the floor.

“You wanted me to take a package and go say hello to my parents.”

“Because we knew you’d end up spending the whole day there.” Sungyeol said. “Then we waited till he called before I reminded you.”

Dongwoo laughed, shaking his head.

“So you pranked him after all?”

“Yes, we did.” Woohyun said, sighing in satisfaction as the members got ready for practice stretches.


End file.
